


Bittersweet

by chaos-fruit (rubeedrip)



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Flashbacks, Heartbreak, Valentine's Day, edited dialogue from sa2, knuckles also hates valentines day, knuckles gets his heart broken, knuckles hates love, rouge is literally cruel, this could be canon idk?, this is kinda sad, this might kind of be a reflection of my past relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 04:35:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29447886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubeedrip/pseuds/chaos-fruit
Summary: Knuckles never thought he would fall in love. And he never thought it would hurt so bad.
Relationships: Knuckles the Echidna/Rouge the Bat
Kudos: 5





	Bittersweet

The sweet smell of fresh cookies greets your nostrils as you rub the sleep out of your violet eyes and roll out of your hammock. 

You let out a yawn and rub your back. You weren’t that used to sleeping in a hammock; after all, it had been quite some time since you’d stayed on Bygone Island. The huts you had once resided in were still intact, and since the early months of the year brought harsh temperatures (and for what Amy had called ‘team bonding R & R’), you and your group of...er, acquaintances, had returned to the island to escape the cold and relax on an isolated beach for a month or so.

You then realize that your hut seemed different than it had when you fell asleep last night. Nothing too drastic, just several new _interior decorations_. Looked like Amy had gone crazy on decorating for another pointless holiday. What sorta overenthusiastic freak breaks into your house in the middle of the night to decorate? Red and pink paper hearts smothered the walls, and some even hung from light fixtures. You found it so annoyingly cheerful.

_Wait a minute, hearts? What’s today even got to do with—_

_Oh no._

The smell of the cookies was the only thing leading you to step outside of your hut. You definitely did not want to deal with any of the three today, so you hoped no one was outside while you were on your pursuit of the cookies.

Annnnd...you’re too late.

“Mornin’, Knux!” you hear Sonic’s irritating voice call from where he was sitting on a beach chair, an unidentifiable drink in his hand. “Did Amy break into your hut, too?”

You see Amy peek her head out from her kitchen window, presumably where the scent of the cookies resided. “Stop calling it ‘breaking in’! You make it sound so bad! All I did was decorate a bit!”

Tails lets out a small snicker. “Yeah, by coming into our huts at some unholy hour of the night to heart-bomb us.” He takes a sip of his drink, seemingly some kind of fruit smoothie.

Amy rolls her eyes. “Because it’s VALENTINE’S DAY! I had to spread the holiday spirit so you guys remember to show some love around here!” You see her lock eyes with Sonic.

“The only thing I’d _love_ are some cookies,” Sonic responds snarkily. “Hurry up!”

Amy sighs angrily. She then notices your presence. “Knuckles, do you want anything to drink?”

“I’m good, thanks,” you reply, avoiding extra conversation along with the questionable beverages that Amy tended to make with the plants of the island.

You suppose there’s really no point in hiding from them, so you make your way over to a beach chair by Sonic and Tails and flop down, the bright morning sun warming your body. 

The sweet smell that woke you grows stronger as you see Amy step outside with a large plate piled with freshly-baked cookies. She sets them down on a table beside you and the two others. Upon further inspection, the cookies are shaped like hearts. Of course. 

Your hunger prevails, and you take one anyways. Sonic and Tails do as well. As you bite into the warm cookie, your taste buds explode in flavor; the palatable taste of a sugar cookie washing over your tongue. Amy was a damn good cook, you had to admit. Maybe she wasn’t the best when it came to making drinks, but the meals that she prepared for everyone were always delicious. And despite being _holiday-shaped_ , the cookies that she had just made were incredible.

“You boys like ‘em?” Amy croons from where she was standing behind Sonic’s beach chair. Jeez, why was she still obsessing over him? Couldn’t she take a hint?

Your mouth full, you nod respectfully. Tails, on the other hand, opens his mouth to express his love for them, spraying crumbs all over the place. It’s times like these where you remember his actual age. His outstanding intelligence often led you to overlook the fact that he was still young and childish at heart.

“Yeah, they’re great,” Sonic says after downing his cookie and reaching for a second. “You really went all out today, huh.” 

“Of course I did!” Amy squeals. “I absolutely ADORE Valentine’s Day! It’s such a joyful, romantic day, and I can’t believe I get to spend it with…” She trails off, looking at Sonic, and instantly _corrects_ herself. “...with my CLOSEST FRIENDS! Yeah!” 

You roll your eyes. “It’s just another consumerist holiday,” you deadpan. “Why should you be more affectionate one day rather than any other?” 

“Listen, _Scrooge_ , it’s just a day to celebrate the people you care about,” Sonic replies. “And we’re gonna be celebrating all night long at the party tonight!”

You freeze. Did he say _party_? 

Your question is voiced by Tails. “Party? The one that the native Bygone people are throwing?”

“Right on! They invited us, so we’re all gonna go tonight!” 

_All_? Did they really have to rope you into this? You hated parties. You weren’t much of a ‘people person’—you preferred spending time alone. You were quite used to being alone.

Tails cocks his head. “Don’t you need a date to go to that?” 

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem, right Sonic?” Amy looks down at him.

“Nope! We can all just go as friends.” Sonic was so clearly oblivious to Amy’s futile attempts to express her love to him. She was getting friend-zoned so hard today; it was a surprise she didn’t hate this day as much as you did. 

“Not like any of us have love interests anyways,” Sonic continues, causing Amy to fret dejectedly. “We’re all bachelors. It doesn’t matter.” 

“Well, have any of you ever been in love?” Amy asks hopefully, trying to get anything she possibly can out of Sonic.

You’re itching so hard to leave the conversation.

“Dunno. Probably once or twice,” Sonic responds nonchalantly. “I don’t really know if I wanna tie myself down to just one person, though.” 

“You’re a jerk.” Amy punches him lightly. “I’ve been in love, and let me tell you, it is _frustrating…_ ”

Tails thinks for a moment. “I mean, obviously I love food and my friends and stuff, but like...I don’t think I’ve ever really been _in love_ with anyone. I guess I haven’t found the right person.” 

“That’s fair,” Amy says. “How about you, Knuckles?” 

There are so many things you do and don’t want to say. 

“I don’t believe in that,” you state dismissively. You knew they weren’t going to take too kindly to that statement. 

Amy stifles a gasp. “Seriously? So you’ve never loved anyone at all?”

You merely shrug and direct your focus to the cookie in your hand. 

“Well, that’s probably why you’re so moody all the time,” Sonic remarks.

You close your eyes for a second. You tell yourself to _calm down, don’t snap._

“Gonna have to side with Sonic here,” Tails says cautiously. “I mean, you _are_ kinda lonely...maybe it’s because you don’t love anyone.”

Your grip on the cookie tightens.

“Yeah,” Amy adds. “I mean no harm, but that’s kind of a sad way to live your life.” 

Your blood boils, anger beginning to sear through you.

“I think he doesn’t really know how,” Sonic tells Amy. He looks back at you. “I mean, you’ve been holed up on that island your whole life, right? You probably aren’t familiar with the concept.” 

That, you decide, was enough interaction with the trio. You weren’t going to put up with the bullshit they were spewing any longer.

“Speaking of which,” you note at Sonic’s mention of your island. “I’ve been away from home for far too long. I’m returning to Angel Island. I refuse to let anything else happen to the Master Emerald.” 

Sonic almost spits out his drink. “What? Knux, we’re on _vacation_. You can’t just leave. I’m sure the Emerald’s fine.” 

You snort. “Eggman could be infiltrating my island right as we speak. You can’t promise me anything.” 

“...you could at least try to think positive!” Tails chimes in.

An exasperated exhale escapes your throat. “Enjoy the rest of your stay.” Without looking back, you leap into the air and channel power from the Master Emerald into your body and beneath your dreadlocks. You begin to glide, the larger amount of energy you had channeled from the Master Emerald propelling your body further upward, your senses leading you back towards Angel Island.

You hear Sonic’s voice calling out, barely audible. “Seriously? What the hell, Knux? Now who’s gonna be my ‘date’ to the party?” 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me, Sonic…” Amy mutters in response, and you think Tails might’ve also said something, but it was nothing of importance since you were now completely out of earshot. 

You feel the temperature around you growing colder as your speed increases and as you near Angel Island, but your body is still somehow quite warm. Perhaps it’s because of the Master Emerald’s energy. Or, perhaps it’s all the emotion building up inside of you. Pure anger and frustration, pushing you past the limit and causing you to leave your little posse of heroes you were forced to get along with. A bit of apprehension, filling you since the moment you stepped away from your duty as the Emerald’s watcher. And—

No. You’re Knuckles the Echidna. You don’t feel sadness. You weren’t weak and pathetic like everyone else who let their emotions best them. Besides, you had nothing to be sad about. Nope. Nothing at all could possibly devastate you today. _Absolutely nothing at all_. 

You begin to see the faint outline of a familiar island floating in the sky. You let out a sigh of relief. You definitely wouldn’t have forgiven yourself this time if something had gone wrong due to your absence. Once you’re closer, you stop gliding and land on your island. Your feet pick up and you begin to run. Your strides become faster and faster, until you reach the center of your island and _oh thank gods it’s still there_. You skid to a halt in front of the massive green jewel which was thankfully intact and in its place where you had kept it before you left; atop a shrine in the dead center of Angel Island, its power keeping the island afloat in the sky. 

Surprisingly, your island is deserted, aside from the few native animals that roamed about it. You’d expected to see a couple Badniks wreaking havoc in search of the Master Emerald, or even some random person attempting to take the Emerald for their own personal schemes, but the island is in its natural state of being completely empty. 

“You worry too much,” you tell yourself aloud, taking a seat beside the Master Emerald. You sigh. It was good to be alone again. Spending time by yourself was practically all you did your entire life. But you weren’t _lonely_ as Tails had said. It’s your duty to protect the Emerald at all costs, no matter if that meant spending your whole life by yourself. It’s never bothered you. None of your tribe was alive, either—not like they could keep you company. And the people who came to the island that could respond to you (the animals were not very talkative) never stayed for that long. Your punches never failed to scare them away from their pursuits of the Master Emerald. 

Only once did your skill escape you. Only once did the pursuer persist, continuing to return, so determined on taking the Emerald. 

And only once did you open your heart and offer it to someone else, only to have that someone crush it between their gloved hands.

The thing is, you _do_ believe in love. Or rather, you _did_. But you’d firmly sworn it off. You used to think it was a good thing, and embraced it when you’d begun to feel it. You knew now that it could lead to someone’s steady downfall. That it could destroy someone from the inside, taking control of their mind, then squeezing so tight until it shatters. That it could leave someone feeling emptier than they already do, falling into a never-ending black hole of despair. And you know this now because _you’re_ _that someone_. You were the one who was foolish enough to fall in love, and you were the one left to drown in pain and emptiness.

And that other someone? The someone who came to steal the Master Emerald, and instead somehow stole your heart and obliterated it? Well, she was certainly a _batty_ girl. Something about her was so alluring, from the moment your eyes first met. 

You really don’t want to revisit everything that had happened. But your brain had already begun steering you down memory lane, and you let your eyes close as the bittersweet memories played before you again.

\---

_The desert sun beats down on your back. You stare up at the now-empty metal claw that dangled from another one of Eggman’s robots, one of your fists stinging from the powerful punch you’d thrown to shatter the Master Emerald._

_Suddenly, you feel hands on your shoulders. Your gaze shifts to the curvy, white-haired bat shaking you about._

_“What was that all about?” she shrieks. “And look what you did to MY Emerald!”_

_You blink several times, startled and a bit dizzy. You don’t think anyone’s ever willingly touched you before._

_“I did that to prevent the Master Emerald from being stolen, you idiot!” you splutter, trying to keep your cool. “If it’s in pieces, I can restore it.” You lock eyes with her, and your body goes rigid. “And by the way, that’s not YOUR Emerald!”_

_She watches Eggman fly off in his robot. She then turns back to you. “I despise anyone who takes jewels from me! All the world’s gems are mine to keep!”_

_“Yeah, we’ll see about that, bat girl,” you retort._

_She smirks. “I’ll be on my way now. Looks like I have pieces of MY Emerald to find.” She drops a wink in your direction, then leaps into the air._

_“Th-that’s not YOUR Emerald!” you yell as she flies away. You look at the empty pedestal where the Master Emerald resided seconds ago. “Damn it…” you grumble, setting off throughout the desert to restore the pieces of the Emerald you had shattered, a strange feeling coursing through you. That bat girl was certainly something else…_

That was the first time you met. You didn’t know you’d see her again. And again. And again, until she managed to worm her way into your life, like some sort of pretty parasite that invaded your thoughts just to take and take until there was nothing left of you.

\---

_Your chest heaves as you catch your breath. The bat girl stood across from you on the daunting ledge that rested directly above a deep pit of lava. How the hell did she manage to follow you all the way up to the Meteor Herd, collecting shards of the Master Emerald, and proceed to best you in a fight?_

_The two of you lock eyes, and shout in unison, “Stop fooling around, and give me back MY Emeralds!”_

_“What are you babbling about?” she snaps. “You call yourself a hunter? Attacking a lady...shame on you!”_

_You grit your teeth. “What kind of lady goes around stealing gems anyway?”_

_She starts to walk toward you. “Those belong to me.”_

_You watch her misstep, and she lets out a scream as she falls off the ledge, towards the lava below._

_Your instincts kick in almost immediately, and you find yourself diving towards her. You grab her hand, your entire body precariously dangling off the ledge except for the one hand that hung from it._

_“What in the world…?” you hear her murmur as she looks up at you._

_With every last ounce of strength remaining in your spindly arms, you pull her back up onto the ledge, your hand still firmly grasping hers._

_Your eyes meet once again. Something seems to spark in your head, and suddenly you don't ever want to take your eyes off of her. You see something change in the way she looks at you. She looked like she was about to say something rude and sassy, but something seemed to go off in her head as well, and instead she breathlessly says, “...you saved my life!”_

_You feel heat begin to creep up your cheeks. “I-It’s nothing,” you reply, letting go of her hand and looking away sheepishly._

_The sound of shards hitting the ground caused you to turn back around. You see the bat girl setting down the pieces of the Emerald that she had collected and pushing them towards you. “Wha…?”_

_“I think these belong to you,” she says, offering you a fanged smile._

_You begin to pick up the shards. “Should’ve given them to me in the first place, then…” you mutter. You take out your collected fragments, and the Master Emerald begins to piece itself back together. A bright flash of green light emerges from the shards, and just like that, the Master Emerald is back in its restored glory, shimmering in the faint light that lit up the Meteor Herd._

_“Finally,” you remark, examining the now-intact Emerald. Your gaze then falls on the bat girl again. You sigh. “I’m sorry...if I hurt you.” You pick up the Master Emerald and begin to run away, your face somewhat flushed._

_“Wait!” you hear her call out behind you._

_You stop running and turn around to face her. “I don’t think we’ve formally met,” she tells you._

_“Oh, uh…” you trail off awkwardly. She wanted to know your name?_

_“I’m Rouge the Bat, but you can call me Rouge.” She looks at you, waiting for a response._

_“My name’s Knuckles.”_

_“How fitting,” she says playfully, lifting your hand to admire the metal gauntlet that shielded your spiked knuckles. “Well, it’s nice to finally meet you, Knuckles!”_

_“Yeah, uh, same to you, Rouge.” You liked the way her name sounded._

_Rouge smirks. “I should probably get going. But I do hope we meet again soon.” She then leans toward you and plants a kiss on your cheek. “That’s for saving me.”_

_She begins to walk away, but you’re frozen in your place. Your legs feel numb, and your mind is spinning. You bring a hand up to your warm cheek and feel where she had just kissed you._

_It barely registers in your mind. SHE HAD JUST KISSED YOU. That was_ clearly _the first time you’d ever been kissed. You couldn’t possibly know what to do now. But suddenly, the world seemed different to you. As if, somehow, you had found a good reason to stay another day in this world. To keep trying, to keep going forward, in hopes of seeing her again. Because something told you that you would._

_You eventually pick up the Master Emerald and turn to leave. “Rouge…” you murmur, her beautiful name gliding off your tongue._

That encounter changed everything, you had thought, for the better. You fell in love. And Rouge...it seemed like she had a sudden change of heart because of you. Unfortunately, you forgot she was a spy and a thief. And you didn’t know how good she could act.

You met again on the ARK. She reminded you of the Master Emerald’s power, which you then used to neutralize the Chaos Emeralds, stopping the Eclipse Cannon and ultimately saving Earth. She didn’t even seem upset when Shadow seemingly died; she found you and talked to you instead. You had asked her what she would be up to after everyone returned home, and she had said that she wouldn’t be looking for gems because she had something else on her mind. _It’ll all work out_ , she told you. _You’ll see_. 

And you did see. She followed you back to Station Square where you would be staying with Sonic and crew for a while. She wanted to get closer to you. _And you let her._ You let her into the lives of Sonic, Tails, and Amy. You let her stay with you and spend time with you. You let her crack you right open, breaking you out of that introverted shell of yours, leaving you vulnerable as you started to show and embrace your emotions. You were in love. You felt _good_. 

Especially since you thought she cared back. 

\---

_You didn’t want to leave Station Square. The group decided a month was enough, and everyone was about to go their separate ways. You had to return to Angel Island, where the Master Emerald was, and continue your guard duty. But you didn’t want to leave Rouge._

_The group suggested that she could join them for future events, like the many races they held, or when another threat appeared. They had really taken a shine to her. So you knew you were going to see her again. But you still didn’t want to spend any time away from her._

_She notices the pout on your face as she prepares to leave._

_“You’re so sweet, Knuckies,” she purrs, wrapping her arms around your neck. You weren’t a huge fan of the nickname she had given you, but anything that came out of her mouth was heavenly to you. “This won’t be the last time we ever see each other.”_

_“I know, I know…” you mutter. You gaze into her piercing green eyes. “I just...I’m really gonna miss you, Rouge.”_

_“And I’m gonna miss you too. But I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.” She smiles. You can’t help but return the grin. And your grin widens as she presses a kiss to your forehead._

_“See ya later, hunter,” she says as she jumps into the air and spreads her wings, flying out towards Emerald Coast._

_You had grown. You had changed. You had opened up. You had truly discovered yourself and found happiness in the four weeks she stayed with you. You had finally found someone to care about, someone to put your trust in, someone to…_

_You had to say it._

_“I love you...!” you call out, only to realize that she was completely gone. “...Rouge…”_

_She hadn’t heard it. Oh well. You decide you could tell her another time. It was about time you returned to Angel Island, anyways. So you say your goodbyes to Sonic, Tails, and Amy, then start your journey back home._

And oh, you wished you hadn’t. 

\---

_Your feet touch down on the familiar terrain of Angel Island. Almost immediately, the island begins to vigorously shake._

_“Of course…” you grumble uneasily. You quickly scan your island for the Master Emerald, which isn’t on the shrine where you left it. Someone must have come to steal the Emerald while you were away, and the island was beginning to fall without the Emerald’s power. The shaking stopped as the island started to plummet from the sky._

_“Shit!” exclaims a familiar voice. That same voice then lets out a scream you’d heard once before._

_Again, your instincts kick in, and you whirl around just in time to grab Rouge’s hand before she fell from the island into the deep waters below. In her other hand was the Master Emerald._

_“Rouge?! What the hell are you doing here?” you ask, concerned and bewildered._

_“What does it look like, idiot?” she retorts. “Taking what’s rightfully mine.”_

_You pause. “You told me you weren’t after this anymore.”_

_She scoffs. “Oh, please. Did you think I just gave up this ‘line of work’ after you boys saved the world?”_

_The island lands in the water below with a violent splash. You had pulled Rouge back up onto land, despite currently questioning her motives. What had happened? Why was she trying to steal the Master Emerald again? Did you do something wrong?_

_Rouge frowns. “Stupid echidna, you got MY Emerald all wet!”_

_Your brow creases with exasperation and confusion. “Rouge...what are you talking about?”_

_“You are_ the _dullest creature I’ve ever met.” She gives you an exaggerated eye roll. “You better get used to the water, because this Emerald is MINE. You hear that? Don’t go trying to chase after it, either.”_

_“But I thought you changed!” you protest. “I thought you were on our side! On_ my _side!”_

_“Well, you thought wrong.” Her fangs peek out of a sly grin. “I’m only after the jewel. It’s all I’ve been after this whole month. And I was ready to do whatever it took to get what I deserve.” She looks down at the Master Emerald in her clutches, then back at you._

_Those green eyes aren’t as alluring anymore. You’re starting to see through them._

_“Whatever it took?” you repeat, anger and nope, not fear, in your voice. “So...what we had...did you even—”_

_“Of course not! Do you really think I would ever love some imbecilic recluse like you?”_

_Your stomach sinks. “...what?”_

_“It’s called ‘acting’, sweetie. And it apparently worked a treat.”_

_The air suddenly escapes your lungs. Your hands begin to tremble._

_“Enjoy the ocean,” she says. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got an Emerald of mine to polish.” Her wings flap as she nimbly leaps off the water-surrounded island, beginning to fly off into the distance._

_You may have been in love with her, but absolutely NO ONE was going to take that Emerald from you._

_“Oh...no...you...DON’T!” you shout, jumping up and out towards Rouge. Your fist connects with her shoulder, and the Master Emerald slips out of her grip. She lets out a pained cry and begins to fall towards the water, but for once, you don’t care. You dive under the cold water, holding your breath until you feel the large Emerald in your hands._

_Your head pops out of the water, and a second later, so does Rouge’s._

_“You’re so dead set on keeping this Emerald safe, but stuff like this happens all the time, doesn’t it?” She sighs in mock-shame. “You sorry excuse for a guardian.”_

_“Get away from my island, you faker,” you growl, your voice shaking._

_“Oh, so_ I’m _the faker? At least I don’t go parading around acting like I’m better than everyone,” she snaps, treading the water to keep herself afloat. “That’s right. You know you’re not. So stop pretending you’re too good for them. You’re just a naive little knucklehead who doesn’t know the first thing about society or the people in it.”_

_You tense. “I know that I don’t want to be part of a society where heartless people manipulate others for their own twisted benefit!”_

_“Really? ‘Cause I thought all you wanted was to live your life without the burdens of being alone with your guardian duty, being able to do whatever you want, just like Sonic.”_

_It was right then and there when it all clicked. She’d used you. Acted all innocent and trustworthy so you could open up to her. Faked being in love with you, so right when you were weak and vulnerable, she could take the one thing that mattered most to you. And you were too blinded by the affection that you had been so deprived of to see through that saccharine facade she put up._

_You remember telling her that. How, despite it being your duty, you didn’t want to be tied down to one place because of the Emerald. You wanted freedom. You hated to admit it, but you wanted to live a peaceful, laid-back life like Sonic’s. And she promised she wouldn’t mention it to anyone._

_You realize now that she had all sorts of your personal secrets at her disposal, to give out to whoever, whenever she wanted. Straight from the source._

_Rouge lets out another dramatic sigh. “Fine. Keep your stupid Emerald. I’ve seen enough of your repulsive face for a lifetime. But your friends like me too much, so I guess I will see you later.” She begins to swim away from the island._

_She suddenly stops and turns around to face you. There isn’t a hint of remorse in her gaze when she says, “No hard feelings, Knuckies.”_

_And then she’s gone. You pull yourself back ashore to restore the Emerald. The island begins to float again, but you’re just laying there on the grass, dripping wet, numb. You don’t shed a tear or say a thing. The stinging of her words had stopped. You just feel...empty._

_The one person you’d ever felt for. You were so unfamiliar to the concept of love, but when she came into your life, you were ready to learn. You learned how it could change you. You learned how it could give you a motive to get up and live another day. And right now, you were learning how badly it burned._

_You had let another person deceive you. Trick you into believing they were good, then going for your prized possession. Is the Master Emerald the only thing people see in you? The only thing people want out of you?_

_The bigger question was...were you going to let this happen again and again?_

_Your answer was no. You shout this out, aiming a powerful punch at a nearby tree. The tree collapses, and you remain in your position, hand shaking, heart racing, teeth clenched, as you let that numbness inside you transform into pure anger. You weren’t going to trust anyone anymore. You weren’t going to let a single person near your Emerald anymore. And most importantly, you weren’t going to love anymore._

_You hoped it hurt her. You hoped she felt like shit after what she did to you._

Unfortunately, she never did. You ended up seeing her many times after that. More and more threats came to your world, and more and more pointless activities and events were scheduled. She was always there, acting like nothing ever happened. And no one else had a fucking clue of how much pain she’d caused you. 

Instead, you were the one left hurt and broken. You never showed it. Ever since, you’ve been masking your pain with rage and indifference. You knew how powerful you were your whole life, and never wanted to be seen as _violent_. You couldn’t just show people you were weak, though, so now you just punch and punch until all your agony disappears. But it never does.

You look up at the sky. The sun was at its peak, and not a cloud was in sight. It looked like a beautiful day, but below it blew harsh winds in the freezing temperature. You shivered. It surprised you how perfect something could look on the outside while hiding so much bitterness inside.

Maybe Amy was right. Maybe this was a sad way to live your life, all alone. But Amy herself is soon to feel that same sorrow you did, isn’t she? Sonic doesn’t care about her the way she does. Won’t that break her the same way Rouge broke you?

Of course it won’t. Amy’s strong and resilient, she’ll be fine. Besides, Sonic not reciprocating her feelings is completely different than what Rouge did. Amy wasn’t used. Amy wasn’t manipulated into thinking someone actually loved her. Amy didn’t show trust and vulnerability for the first time in her life, only to have it used against her. 

She was back on Bygone Island with Sonic and Tails, enjoying the day, and later they would all be having fun at the party. And here you were, alone on Angel Island once again, reminiscing about the first and last time you were in love. 

_If love is a good enough thing to make an entire holiday about, why does it hurt so bad?_

The pain was starting to come back. Taking time to think about what Rouge had done was making it start to hurt again. For months and months, you had been pushing it all down, rebuilding that hard outer shell that she had broken you out of to hide behind. But the pain was still there, clawing at your gut, no matter how hard you tried to move past it. Seeing her didn’t help at all; every event that you saw her at reminded you of how she _used you, manipulated you, broke you._

The corners of your eyes begin to sting. You couldn’t hide it anymore. You had been bottling up your agony for far too long. 

_No don’t fucking do it you’re not weak you don’t let your emotions out you don’t feel sadness you don’t feel pain you don’t feel anything anymore because of her she fucking ruined you_

The wind stung your face where a hot tear had just trickled down. You don’t think you’d ever cried before, because you didn’t ever show that you were weak by letting your emotions get in your way. But you were alone, and that shell was starting to crack again. Not by love, this time, but what love had done to you. 

You hide your face in your hands as tears continue to stream down it. Was this really how you were going to live the rest of your life? In a constant state of despair and agony that you would have to hide from everyone? You tried so hard to forget her, to move past what she had done, but you just _couldn’t._ She was the first person you ever truly cared for. The first person you trusted. The first person you loved. And it was all for nothing. You opened up to her, did so many things for her, truly fell in love with her—just to find out that she never cared about you, never returned your feelings, never wanted you. All she wanted was that Emerald. 

Your cries turn into gasping sobs as you completely crack. All anyone would ever want you for was that fucking Emerald. Why were you stuck with it? Why did you entire tribe have to die, leaving you all alone with it? Why couldn’t you just live a normal, peaceful, ENJOYABLE life?

You lay your head down on your knees as all the built-up pain and sorrow releases itself out of your body, your chest heaving between shaky breaths as the tears keep flowing. It felt good to let it out, but the more you cried, the more you thought about what she had done, the more you thought about how pitiful you were, the more it hurt. Everything just seemed to hit you all at once, and the only thing you could do was sit there and cry until it all stopped.

But you knew it was never going to stop. You couldn’t change the past. You were still the last survivor of your race with the duty to protect the Master Emerald at all costs. You had still been used by Rouge, letting her take your heart and destroy it. And you were still just a pathetic, gullible, socially inept echidna who’s only being tethered to existence by an oversized green diamond. No matter how badly it hurt, you couldn’t do anything about it. And you had to live with that. 

There was no point in having a holiday about love if you were never going to love again. Some people might be fools like you were and express the love they felt on this day. But you were never going to be one of those people anymore. You wouldn’t let yourself break ever again. She had caused you enough pain and emptiness for a lifetime. 

Sonic, Tails, and Amy, along with hundreds of thousands of others in existence, were celebrating love today. And here you were, sobbing for the first time in your life, because of what it had done to you. It was no wonder you enjoyed solitude. You were the only one in the world who understood how much love hurt.  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! this was kind of a projection fic bc the same kinda thing happened to me in my first relationship (it wasn't as bad as this but i wanted to make this fic angsty af haha) anyways hope you enjoyed being a sad echidna :')


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